


Ma Lumiere

by lecksie31



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Beach House, Goodbyes, M/M, Miracles, Summer Love, True Love, artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecksie31/pseuds/lecksie31
Summary: Junmyeon is an artist whose world turned gray when he lost his ability to paint. When his father died, he took a break, went to his childhood home, the beach house and there he met Oh Sehun. Will this young man be able to bring back color to his world?





	Ma Lumiere

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt Petal:** #35  
>  **Author's Note:** First of all, I would like to thank mod HoneyBee of this fest for always being so accommodating all the time. You're the best! Next, thank you to my betas, you know who you are, I'm forever grateful for your patience with me and giving me all those wonderful insights. To my prompter, I hope I satisfy even a bit of what you wanted this fic to be.
> 
> Lastly, to you, dear reader. Thank you for giving my story a chance. I hope you like it.  
> 

**********

_Darkness_

_Everywhere I turn to, I see nothing but darkness._

_Where am I? What is happening?_

_"Junmyeon, please...."_

_I hear a faint sound of someone calling my name._

_Suddenly, I was engulfed by a blinding light and I'm jolted awake._

****************

He didn’t know how it came to this. Years ago, he would have never thought this is how he’ll be. And yet, here he was, having a monotonous job as an office clerk that has a bare minimum salary. His creaky old car which sounds like it wants to retire, breaks down every now and then, so he gets forced to take public transportation. As much as he wanted to buy a new one, he just couldn’t afford it and the car means so much to him. _Even if it is old, it is loved._

This is the car that was given to him by his father when he graduated from college. It was a link to the past, back when he was filled with hope and passion to reach his goals and dreams. And god knows, Junmyeon is a sentimental person. So sentimental that his house is filled with so much clutter, mementos of his favorite memories, things he holds dear.

 _The ticket he bought the first time he watched the movies?_ Laminated and saved.

 _The napkin from his first date at that classy restaurant downtown?_ Kept safely inside a box.

 _The bottle cap that was the reason he had his first kiss?_ Placed safely inside a jar.

 _The one time he made a poem, even though he was no Shakespeare, in hopes to confess?_ Hidden inside a secret compartment in the drawer of his nightstand.

No one knows he kept these things, the little details of those moments that brings him back to the memories that had a great impact on his life. Memories that once made him happy or pained him deeply. 

These are his treasures and he can't bring himself to let them go, even years after everything is gone. His home is the treasure box that keeps all of his secrets, the ones that he can't bring himself to share to anyone else. _Ones that he’d rather keep to himself._

**************

This is not how things were supposed to be. He was the class valedictorian of his batch and he graduated from college with Latin honors. _Magna cum laude, emerging artist award, a model student._ Everyone envied him back then, and they all knew he was going to get his dreams and make them come true. He was a goal-oriented type of person and all his life, he pursued to become an artist. It was a dream from back when he was a kid, something he held onto for years.

And though there were a lot of people who told him that there is no future in arts, he kept going until he reached his goal; until what used to be just a dream became his reality.

He was sent abroad to study at the _New York Academy of Art._ There, he polished his skills, learned new things and became a better artist than what he used to be. His mom him a studio at their house so that he could have his space to paint when a bout of inspiration hits him.

When people hear the name Kim Junmyeon, _they think of art._ And this goes without saying, as _Junmyeon is art_ himself. They think of paintings easy on the eyes, pieces that have so many meanings that a spectator can put into. _They think of love_ , how perfectly it was portrayed on each frame, on each canvas that he painted. _They think of a man,_ one that has achieved all he wanted at a young age, _at the turning point of success_.

Who would have expected that he would now be stuck doing clerical work, something that he hates most, a boring work that does not use any sense of creativity? Every day, he goes through the same type of files, a monotonous type of work. Answering the phone each time it rings, entering repetitive data into the spreadsheets, sending faxes to where they need to be, having to relay messages from one department to another, and filing records. This is definitely not the type of work he wanted to have.

**************

In a split-second, his life was changed forever.

He was to put his work on display at the town museum, something that he was quite proud of. And so, he decided to bring his parents along with him. Who would have thought that instead of coming home to celebrate, he would end up in a hospital and waking up to see both of his hands in casts?

Ever since then, he could not bring himself to hold a paintbrush, nor was he able to paint on canvas because every time he tried, it ends up badly. But who is Junmyeon without his paintings?

In the process of losing his ability to paint, _he lost himself._

His mind got the better of him, he began pitying himself because he felt useless, not being able to hold even a single paintbrush without it accidentally falling out of his hands, until eventually, he gave up on everything, packed up his art materials and kept them in the attic, left the beach house and decided to move back to the city, and made a life for himself.

***************

When the news came that his father died, he didn’t know what to do. With his life already in shatters, no one informed him it can shatter even more. His dad was the only relative he had left and with him gone as well, he was really alone in this world.

 

Broken and discouraged, he took an emergency leave from work and headed to the beach house where his dad lived in. According to the last will of his dad, it was his now and he needs to take care of it too. He was also given a small fortune, but he will only be able to claim it a few years after.

 

_With a small suitcase that contained some clothes and his rundown car, he headed for the house that he hasn't seen in years, not knowing what fate has in store for him._

********************

He arrives at the house by sundown. He opened the front door, got inside and as soon as he breathed inside, his knees gave up on him. He broke down, not knowing what he is going to do next with his father gone and his life still not having any direction. He slumped on the floor and cried his heart out, something he hadn’t done for a long time now.

Life is very surprising and losing someone for the second time didn’t hurt a bit less. Now, with nothing left to lose, he decides that maybe he needs a break from his life in the big city and one month in the countryside might do him some good healing.  After arranging his clothes in the guest room, he takes a quick bath and heads on to sleep.

***************

It was the first time he slept so soundly, without any nightmares, after a long while and it felt refreshing. Maybe this house really is special. After all, it is the one he grew up in. It was a good thing he had some savings left so he can actually stay here for a month or two, depending on how things will play on.

He goes out to the veranda right after he wakes up as he needed a dose of fresh air and it seemed nice to see the sunrise for once. The city was too polluted, and he was always too busy moving about to try to see where the sun is, lest even watch it.

However, as soon as he goes out, he starts thinking he made a mistake because of the boy staring at him as if he grew some wings. The young lad, a tall one at that, was beet red, cheeks blushing as if he had seen something inappropriate.

 

 _“Here’s your milk. I-I-I-I’ll take my leave now. Have a nice morning!”_ , the young man said, shoving the milk in his hands and running towards his bike and quickly leaves.

 

Junmyeon wonders what was wrong until he realizes that he wasn’t wearing any shirt at all. He was topless and the cold breeze made him shudder a bit. But the expression of the young man and the way he moved away so quickly after seeing him made Junmyeon chuckle for a bit.

 _‘Maybe things are going to be more interesting than I thought.’_ he thinks to himself, a small smile visible on his lips, before heading back inside with the bottle of milk on his hand.

 

*****************

It was like that for every day of that week, the shy lad hands him a bottle of milk, stutters a goodbye, says thank you before leaving and on some days, he would bring some newspaper along, hands it to Junmyeon hesitantly before speeding off to the next house.

One day, as the man was about to hand him his daily paper, Junmyeon grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving.

 

_"Wait"_

The man was startled and froze on the spot.

 

_"I'm sorry, it's just, I was wondering what your name was?"_

_"It's S-s-s-se-h-h-hun. Sehun"_

_"Oh, Sehun?"_

The tall man just nodded his head as he started to head to his bike. 

What was funny is that Junmyeon kept repeating his name over and over again in his head. As he went inside, as he showered, as he was about to sleep, he kept playing the name 'Sehun' as if it was a mantra.

*******************

Eventually, Sehun's shyness wore off, and they started talking more. Exchanging phone numbers had been the start of it. Slowly, they got to know each other better. Favorite color, favorite movies, favorite book, everything they might have in common, they asked about.

The cute, lively shy man made him look forward to each morning, to every text message, to every moment they got to spend together. It was amazing how this man had completely turned his life around. He was supposed to be sad, was supposed to be mourning but somehow this young man who can express tons of emotions with his eyebrows, made him feel a whole lot better.

As the days passed by, he was slowly lowering his guard down around this guy, the walls that he had built around him are breaking down. Without his permission, the young man who acts like a baby half the time secured a special place in his heart.

 

_Why did his walls start forming cracks?_

 

Was it because Sehun started to be more comfortable around him? Was it because of Sehun's daily greeting to him and how he become used to hearing 'Good day, Junmyeon' from those adorable pair of lips with a husky voice that he has come to adore? Or was it because of the magic of these words that made him believe that his day will be good when Sehun greets him each morning? 

It must be all of it. Sehun seeped into the cracks until the walls were broken down.

******************

A few days have passed and like most whirlwind romance stories, they have given their hearts to each other and started something between the two of them. They didn’t put any labels on what they are, for, after all, labels are just that, labels. **_Love does not need labels, it should not even be named, it just needed to be felt._**

They continued to be label-less, tip-toeing around each other, trying to get the other to confess though they could not even put the right words on how to tell each other how they feel.

 

_[I don't quite know_

_How to say_

_How I feel]_

__

And when even after some time, the simplest ‘I love you’ could not be said, and words have failed them, _they have learned a different way of loving._ They have learned to love without uttering a single syllable, they have learned to love by kissing each other in the morning as Sehun delivers him the milk. They learned how to love as they hug as they say goodbye on the nights when Sehun eats dinner at his house. **_They began to love, the only way they know how: through actions._**

*******************

_[If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_and just forget the world?]_

 

One night, they were lying next to each other at the back of the beach house, in an open space where they can watch the night sky. It was a good night and suddenly, their lips were so close to each other that they can feel each other’s breaths. Instead of kissing, they smiled at each other and intertwined their hands. _That night, Junmyeon felt peace for the first time in a long while._

Breaking the silence, Sehun suddenly asked something that Junmyeon didn't even catch up on.

 

_"Junmyeon? Can I ask you something?"_

_"Yes, Sehun?"_

_"Why did you stop painting?"_

Junmyeon's smile suddenly dropped and the tears started forming in his eyes.

 

_"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I did not mean to make you sad, Junmyeon."_

_"It's okay, I needed to tell someone anyway. And you are the first person that made me want to tell."_

_"You don't have to tell me right now, if you are not comfortable with it, you can just take your time and tell me some other day. Don't force yourself."_

_"No, I want to tell you. I trust you. On my first exhibition, I got into a car accident with my parents. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. The first thing I saw was both of my hands in casts. I panicked, thinking I would never be able to paint again, that was my reflex. But they were just temporary until the bones in my hand healed themselves. I was lucky I was young so my bones can still heal themselves over time. The one thing that was unfixable, the one that was not temporary, was the death of my mom."_

After saying that, Junmyeon's tears fell down his face and he had to sit down. Sehun immediately sat down as well and brushed the tears away from his eyes and held his hand.

 

_"I'm so sorry, Junmyeon, for making you remember this sad memory."_

_"I'll continue, please let me continue."_

_"Of course, if that is what you want."_

_"My world came crashing down when I heard my mom was dead. I could not accept it. She was everything to me. She was the one who handed me my first paintbrush, the one who praised every single one of my work even when I was just a kid and had the worst paintings ever seen. She was the one who believed I had the potential to be a great artist, the one who believed in me even when I could no longer believe in myself. She pushed me and became the bridge to the world where I used to be, the world of art."_

Because Junmyeon was having a hard time breathing, Sehun asked him to take deep breaths before continuing his story.

_"When I saw her casket, I wished it was me in there, I really broke down. After that, I realized that I can no longer paint. I can't hold a paintbrush because the moment I start to paint on the blank canvas, I would see her smile at the back of my mind and suddenly, I'm in tears and the brush would fall out of my hands."_

_"I'm so sorry, Junmyeon. I wish I can do anything for you."_

_"You being here with me and listening to my story already means a lot."_

Sehun hugged Junmyeon tightly, wishing he can take away all the pain that he feels.

 

[Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough]

 

Sehun's chest was exploding from the love that he feels for the man in his arms, crying so badly. So, even though he knows words will never be enough, he says it anyway,

 

**_“I love you, Junmyeon”_ **

 

Junmyeon's tears stopped, showing the impact of Sehun's words on him. He kept his eyes closed and waited for it to happen, waiting for his mind to mess this moment up. He is anticipating the voices to come but surprisingly, they didn’t. It was wonderful, really. Everything was too quiet inside his head and so he had the courage to open his eyes slowly.

As he did, he saw magic. Sehun looked like he was glowing and after giving him a peck on the lips, he told him, _“Wait for a bit, I just need to do something real quick.”_

Junmyeon almost tripped as he ran up the stairs, excited to ran up the attic, finds his canvas and some paint then started painting. His hands were still shaking but he couldn’t contain his excitement. And so, he began.

What seemed like seconds to him turned out to be hours and when he finally finished 5 hours later, he just knew. _This was his masterpiece_. He was given the chance to paint once more and he had to thank his muse. But as he stood up, he felt his knees give up on him due to exhaustion and he fell on them. And the moment he did, his tear ducts acted up as well.

This is how Sehun found him, on the floor, crying. He panicked and immediately went to him, afraid that he might be the reason for the tears or that he might have hurt him. But as he saw what Junmyeon was looking at, his jaw dropped.

_‘Is this how he sees me?’, he asks himself._

 

What was in the painting looked so regal, so serene, something close to an angel. Sehun could not even believe the painting was him except that he can see his face as if he was staring at a mirror.

On the other hand, Junmyeon couldn’t believe that he has captured Sehun’s essence completely. That scar on his cheek (the one Sehun said he got back when he was a kid), his thick eyebrows, his mesmerizing eyes, his plump lips, and that nose bridge. Oh, this was definitely Sehun and he can’t believe he did this.

Sehun came closer to Junmyeon, wrapped him up in a hug and said,

 

_“Thank you, Junmyeon. I’m so proud of you, baby.”_

 

They looked at each other and smiled at that moment.

_Isn’t it the best feeling in the world when someone understands you without words?_

 

And somehow, that smile was enough for Sehun to hear Junmyeon’s ‘I love you too’

Junmyeon speaks a different language of love and Oh Sehun was more than willing to understand every single word Junmyeon utters.

 

*************** 

Since that night, Sehun has somehow, unofficially moved into the beach house. He started leaving his items in the house whenever he goes in, like his toothbrush, his favorite pair of indoor slippers, a few his clothes, _little things that mark his presence._

It was funny that he did not need to bring his security blanket with him when he sleeps over at Junmyeon's. It was the one thing that he could not sleep without, but somehow, as Junmyeon's arms were draped on him before he closes his eyes, he could sleep peacefully without it.

What was funnier than knowing Junmyeon was his cure as much as he is Junmyeon's?

Nothing. Because deep inside him, he already knew, _Junmyeon matters to him, a lot._

****************** 

It was one day when Sehun asked Junmyeon out on a date, brought him to a fancy restaurant. They ate expensive food and drank some fine wine. On their way back to the house, Junmyeon asked him,

 

_"How did you manage to get a reservation for that exclusive restaurant at this peak season?"_

_"Oh, don't think too much about that, I just knew some people."_

The topic was dropped as soon as they reached the house and started undressing each other and kissing each other like there is no tomorrow.

It was also then that Sehun got a bit greedier and asked Junmyeon to be his boyfriend when he was inside the older. Junmyeon, wrapped up with lust and love said yes immediately as went for another round.

****************

Summer only had two weeks left, it feels like everything is coming to an end.

 

And Junmyeon, well he needs to go back to work as he was only able to take a few months of leave and he can't afford to lose his job. And yet, breaking Sehun's heart is not something that he can bring himself to do.

How will he break it to Sehun? How will he say that he needs to go back to the city and leave Sehun behind? He is sure that Sehun would not be able to come with him and he does not want him to be stuck in the life that he lives back there. 

So instead, he sits on the side of the bed and whispered to Sehun as he watches him sleep soundly on their bed.

 

_“I’m sorry I never told you how I feel for you out loud. I was just too afraid that if I say those three words, you would be gone. You came into my world by surprise, Sehun. And now, I’m just sorry I have to leave you, but we’ll never work out. I’m stuck doing work that I don’t even like, and I have no means to support you if I ask you to come with me. You are like a bird who enjoys being free and I would be a shackle that would only tie you down and prevent you from flying if I ask you to go back with me. You don’t deserve that, and I don’t want to stop you from reaching your dreams. I know to leave without saying goodbye is going to hurt you, but you’re still young. You’re still going to meet so many people and eventually, you will forget me.”_

Junmyeon couldn’t stop his tears from falling but he has to get everything off his chest.

_“One day, I hope you find someone who deserves you. I hope you find someone who will make you laugh, who will never make you cry and who will never leave you behind like me. I hope he takes good care of you. I hope he makes you feel like you are his world and that you matter to him. I hope he will hug you when you cry, hold your hand when you are feeling down, and give you all the kisses in the world for no reason at all. I hope you find someone like that, Sehun, because I just can’t be that for you. Not right now, anyway. I’m sorry I have to hurt you, but this is the fastest way you will be able to move on easily from me. I’m grateful for the moments we have spent together, thank you for all the memories we shared. I promise I will treasure them forever.”_

 

Before he leaves, he leans down and kisses Sehun on the forehead one last time.

 

_“I love you, Oh Sehun.”_

******************

Sehun wakes up to an empty space beside him where Junmyeon should be and he panics. Somehow, he felt this day was coming, just like in the dream he had, where Junmyeon told him he loves him before leaving. Where is he?

 

_"Junmyeon? Where are you, baby?"_

When there was no answer, he stood up from the bed and that is when he saw the note on the nightstand.

 

_Sehun_

_I'm thankful for the time we spent together!_

            _It was fun while it lasted. I never thought a fling would be this fun._

            _Thank you so much and I hope you find someone to spend the rest of the summer with._

                                                                                                                                    _xoxo,_

                                                                                                                        _Junmyeon_

Sehun, whose heart should have been filled with anger and disgust, only felt empty after he read the note. The piece of paper fell from his hands as he brought it up to his eyes, to stop the tears that seemed to fall from them automatically. He just confessed how much he loves Junmyeon. Maybe he had read him wrong, maybe he did not love him the same way that Sehun loves him. _A fling,_ that was all Sehun was to Junmyeon and he can't accept this fact. It killed him so much in the inside.

 

This is why he did not want any labels. What a fool he was for asking Junmyeon to be his boyfriend when he knew it can easily backfire like this. And just like that, the love of his life was gone.

 

**** 5 years later ****

 

Sehun steps out of the bus, inhales the air of the city he had just arrived at, Seoul. He walks for a bit, just wondering about and looking all over. He can't believe he is finally here and as he saw a flyer posted at one of the walls saying there was an exhibition at Seoul Museum of Art at 8 PM. He looks at his wristwatch, 7:30. He'll still make it, the sample painting in the flyer somehow spoke to him and so he went, even though the name of the artist was not stated there.

And when he arrived, he immediately started browsing through the paintings in the gallery, amazed at all the vibrant tones in there. However, it was the centerpiece of the entire exhibition that got to him. 

His hand automatically shot to his mouth as he held back his tears the moment that he saw the piece.

It was a painting of two men, laying on their backs on a blanket, the beach house present in it, with a starry sky above them.

_He knows this moment, he recognizes this. This was the same night that Junmyeon had opened up to him, the night he said I love you._

This hurts way too much, he needs to leave this place and so he heads for the exit.

 

*****************

 

Junmyeon wondered if he was just seeing things, were his eyes playing games on him? He thought he saw Oh Sehun, the man he is still very much in love with, the love of his life. The one that brought back his ability to paint with his words. The one he left by the beach house, his muse, his...everything. But will he be mad at him for leaving and hurting him? Would he be able to handle the hate that Sehun might feel for him? Will he listen to him if he tries to explain?

Forget everything, he will not lose this chance. It might not be Sehun but he had to try and so he went out of the gallery, rushing through it and chased after the man he saw.

He ran like his life depended on it, and it did because even though he hated to admit it _, his life felt empty since he left Sehun._ And he saw him, on the other side of the road so he called him.

 

_"Sehun! Sehun, please wait for me! Please."_

But just as he was about to cross the road, he suddenly collapsed. 

****************

When he became conscious, all he can see is darkness.

 

Everywhere he turns to, everything is dark.

 

Where is he and why can't he see anything?

 

_"Junmyeon, please wake up."_

And so he did, he opened his eyes but still, it was dark.

 

_"What is happening? Why can't I see anything?"_

 

*******************

Temporary blindness, something that can be caused by extreme stress. Sometimes, it goes away after a few days, sometimes a few weeks but the doctor told Junmyeon if he is not able to see within a month, he would go completely blind. 

Life really works in funny ways, Sehun is now beside him, he's sure it is him, he'd recognize his voice anywhere.

Summer is ending, there’s only a month. Will he be able to redeem himself this time?

 

_"Sehun?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I know you're still mad at me, but would you do me this favor and stay with me for a month just until I can see again? It's just, I don't have anyone to help me out. I'm sorry."_

He was answered by complete silence.

Nothing, not even a muted answer.

But when he felt a hand clasping his own, he knew he still had a chance.

********************

 

They went back to the beach house. Without words, they had gone back to their old habits. It was like nothing ever changed and they are back to the same summer that they had once spent together here. Except Junmyeon couldn’t see anything and Sehun is not talking as much as he used to.

On early mornings, Sehun would accompany Junmyeon to the veranda to get some fresh air. Sehun would wrap one arm around Junmyeon’s and lean his head in such a way that it fit the space between his shoulders. Junmyeon would smile and put his hand on top of Sehun’s head and pat his hair. 

Every afternoon, they would eat together, Sehun would spoon feed Junmyeon. The latter wouldn’t stop sputtering ‘Thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ after that and Sehun would just hold his hand and tells him, ‘There is nothing to be sorry for.’

Their evenings are spent by the beach, sitting next to each other. Junmyeon would be able to hear the waves crashing to the shore and imagine how it looks like. His head would be leaning on Sehun’s broad shoulders while the younger would caress his face.

This is how three weeks passed them by, the same routine from the morning until night, with the occasional visit to the mainland for grocery and to eat out at times.  With only one week left of the summer, Sehun was worried about Junmyeon as his eyesight still hasn’t come back.

 

******************

Three days before summer ended during night time when they were on the beach, sitting next to each other like they always did, Junmyeon suddenly spoke.

 

_“Sehun, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you like that, it was stupid of me. I only realized it later on.”_

_“It’s okay, Junmyeon. I understand. There’s no need for you to stress yourself over with this, you have got enough on your plate right now. Just focus on getting better, alright?”_

_“How are you, Sehun? How have you been all these years? I never got the chance to ask you.”_

_“I’m… actually…. ah… I’m okay, everything’s well.”_

Junmyeon did not know what to say next, he felt his guilt eating him inside out. Somehow, he is thankful he couldn’t see the expression on Sehun’s face right now because he is sure, he’ll break down immediately if he did.

 

_“Junmyeon? Can I ask you something?”_

This sounds quite like a déjà vu moment to Junmyeon, these are the same words Sehun used back then, on the night he confessed.

 

_“Yes, Sehun?”_

_“Why did you leave me like that? Was I not worth it? Was it really just a fling? Did I do something wrong? Was I too suffocating? Did my love for you drown you----”_

Immediately, Junmyeon cut Sehun off, as he flails his hands in front of him and manages to land straight on Sehun’s face. He touches Sehun’s face, let his fingers trace the sharp jawline of the man he once loved, the man he still loves, the man he’ll keep loving for the rest of his life and his lives after.

 

_“No, Sehun, it was not you. It was me. I was dumb, foolish, stupid or however you want to call it. I honestly thought that it would not work. I was broke and my job was rarely able to support me. I did not want to ask you to come back with me because I thought that you’d only suffer. It was only later on when I was all alone in my apartment that I realized, it didn’t matter, that I should have thought about what you wanted. But by then, I figured I hurt you and you probably didn’t want to see my face. So, I did you a favor and never showed myself again.”_

_“You’re wrong though.”_

_“I was and I’m sorry for it, Sehun. I’m so I hurt you, I’m sorry if I made you doubt yourself. I’m sorry for leaving, I’m sorry for everything but the truth is that I love you more than any---”_

This time, it was Sehun’s turn to cut him off. The moment Sehun heard those three words, he was a goner and immediately, he kissed Junmyeon. He missed it so much, he realized, this soft, plump and pink lips that used to be his and his alone. He puts his arms around Junmyeon and pulls him deeper into the kiss. He was a bit worried that this might be too much but Junmyeon responded back into the kiss and a few moments after, their tongues were already swirling around each other.

 

_“Junmyeon? Remember when I told you I love you, all those years ago?”_

Sehun said, momentarily breaking the kiss apart as he stares at Junmyeon’s face, the latter’s eyes still closed.

 

_“I never stopped.”_

Somewhere in the back of Junmyeon’s mind, he heard the angel’s cry. What did he just hear? Sehun never stopped loving him? Even after all this time, all the years they have been apart?

He opened his eyes, wanting to see Sehun’s expression, fully knowing he wouldn’t be able to. But what did he know? Sehun always has been a miracle to him that came when he needed him most. And true enough, he can say the same thing right now as he stares into his face.

He couldn’t help the tears this time around as he is able to see the face of the man he loves. And Sehun panics as soon as he saw them, using the end of his sweater to try and wipe the tears away.

 

_“Junmyeon, what’s wrong?”_

_“Sehun, oh my god, Sehun. I can see you.”_

_“You what? I---Junmyeon!”_

 

Sehun lifted Junmyeon and carried him before he whispers in his ear.

 

_“Let’s go home, Junmyeon.”_

And those words, those _three words, ‘Let’s go home’, meant so much more than any words possibly can._

_“Anywhere with you is home, Sehun”_

*****************

 

They were on the couch and they were just cuddling, trying to make up for the lost time.

 

_“Sehun? It has been a long five years, why did you decide to find me when you did?”_

_“That’s where you are wrong, Junmyeon. But that’s a talk for another day. Let’s just make the most of what we have right now.”_

_“Okay, can I ask something?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Sehun, I love you. There, I said it, the words that have been the hardest for me to say because whenever I tell people I love them, they either leave me behind or gets into an accident. But I’m willing to take the risk. Sehun, you are my miracle. You are the one who saved me time and time again and now that I’m given another chance to be with you, I’m not planning to waste it anymore. Would you spend the rest of your life together with me? I may not have so much, I’m just an artist but I’m in love with you and I want to be with you every second of this lifetime. Would you marry me, Oh Sehun?”_

Sehun looks at him in disbelief, as if he has grown horns this time. And suddenly, he was crying.

 

_“Don’t cry, don’t cry. Was it too fast? Did I rush you? I’m so sorry, Sehun, I didn’t mean to.”_

_“No, I’m just. I can’t, you don’t understand.”_

_“What do you mean, Sehun?”_

_“Nothing. Yes, Junmyeon. I want to spend the rest of my life with you too. I will love you until tomorrow. After all, after today will be another tomorrow and I just wish we’ll never run out of tomorrows. I love you too, Junmyeon.”_

And they sealed it with a kiss, followed by a warm tight hug.

 

****************

 

On the last day of summer, Junmyeon woke up quite early, ready to go to the veranda and watch the sunrise with the love of his life. However, when he opened his eyes, there was no one beside him. Where did Sehun go?  Figuring Sehun is probably downstairs, he began his search for him.

The moment he went down the stairs, the smell of coffee entered his nose. Sehun must have been brewing some fresh grounds. However, when he looked at the island, he saw a cup with steam rising from it. The coffee looked freshly made so, where is he?

He did not know why he looked at the floor, but he did and saw a trail of brown liquid. He immediately rushed behind the counter to check it out and there he was. Sprawled on the floor, a broken cup beside him, Junmyeon went near Sehun and began shaking him back to consciousness. He saw some blood splattered on the ground as he lifts Sehun up to bring him to the sofa. As soon as Sehun is settled there, he called 911.

 

*******************

Junmyeon kept pacing back and forth out of the operating room where Sehun was in. He was nervous, his palms sweaty, his heart beating as fast as it possibly can like it would jump out of his chest any moment now.

He didn’t know what to do, he is scared, what happened with Sehun? What is wrong with him?

When the doors of the room opened and the doctor came out, Junmyeon felt his breath stop.

 

 _“Are you his guardian?”_

_“Yes. How is he? Is he alright now? When can I see him?”_

The doctor put his hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder, looked him in the eyes and shook his head.

 

_“I’m so sorry, we couldn’t save him. The cancer was spread all over his body.”_

_“Cancer? What do you mean cancer?”,_ Junmyeon asks in disbelief.

_“Didn’t he tell you? He had pancreatic cancer. It was detected on its late-stage already. I’m so sorry for your loss.”_

Junmyeon’s knees gave up on him and he slowly slumped on the ground, bringing his hands up to his face as the tears would not stop falling. What did he just hear? This is all just a dream, is it not? Sehun is alive, isn’t he? They just got back together, they were just starting to plan their lives, so what happened? They were still going to get married, have a good life by the beach house and everything else. 

 

****************

When he got back home after the burial, he only wanted to shut himself off and cry. The whole world was in black and white once more. Sehun took all the colors with him as he left. And Junmyeon was once again lost. 

He went to the bedroom, deciding that he should at least change out of his clothes. But as soon as he opens his closet, the scent of Sehun’s clothes filled the room. They filled almost half of it. He sees Sehun’s coat and grabs it. He wraps his arms around it, hugs it and cries. However, he felt something on the inside pocket of the coat. _It was a flash drive and with it came a note._

_Dear Junmyeon,_

_I hope you never have to see this which would mean, by some miracle, I’m still alive._

_But if by some twist of fate, you do, then I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything._

_Here it is, here is the closure that you need._

_Love,_

_Sehun_

_******************_

_Sehun sets up the camera, trying to figure out how it works, his hand covering the lenses at first. Then he settled on a swivel chair, looking like he is in a study like those ones in old movies._

_“Hi. Is this working?” Sehun gives the camera a toothy smile before he puts on a serious face._

Junmyeon wanted to pull him out of the screen and kiss him right there and then. That smile on his face is something he already missed so dearly.

_“Hello, Junmyeon. If you are watching this, then I must be gone by now, right? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you anything but how can I? When I finally found you again, you couldn’t see and all I wanted was to help you.”_

Junmyeon is sobbing, looking at the selfless angel that he was blessed to have met in this life.

 

 _“I know you’re crying now but don’t. I knew this was coming, I knew I was going to die anytime soon and that is why I made this recording so that you would not blame yourself for my death. Junmyeon, you loved me despite not knowing so much about me. You barely knew me, I was practically a stranger and yet you gave me all of your heart.”_

_“When you left me 5 years ago, I never hated you. I was just sad that you did not tell me your problems, you did not trust me enough then, and I can only wish you did. You must be weirded out by everything I’m saying so let me tell you everything, the truth about what happened from the very start, Junmyeon.”_

 

Confused, Junmyeon decided to just continue watching. Seeing Sehun’s face on the screen looking very much alive and healthy pained him so much but he wanted to hear everything.

 

_“Remember when we first met each other? You were on the veranda, half-naked, looking so amused by the sunrise. I was captivated by you right there and then. I already fell half in love with you at that moment alone. You were like an angel and who was I? I was holding a glass of milk, one I just brought from the grocery and I was so flustered when you caught me staring that I decided to pretend I was the milk delivery boy. But I wasn’t. It was a lie I tried so hard to keep up.”_

He was not the milk delivery boy? But he delivered milk to Junmyeon’s house daily, what is he saying?

 

_“Your dad, he was a friend of mine. He was a wise man, Junmyeon, so much like you are. He worked as my personal assistant for so long and of course, we got really close. He would always talk about you, Junmyeon. This is why before I even met you, I already knew so much about you. He would always brag about how great of a painter you were, how proud he is of you, how much he loves you and how much he wishes you were there with him. On his death bed, I was beside him and there he told me to look after the house. I was not expecting you would be there that day but there you were.“_

Sehun and his dad? Just who is Oh Sehun?

 

_“I wanted to know you better. You were the type of person people just wanted to get to know about. You were interesting more than you give yourself credit for. You were always so kind. It was funny how I would never stutter in any of the presentations I give for the company but when it comes to you, I couldn’t even form proper sentences.”_

Presentations? Company?

 

_“I never did introduce myself properly to you, did I? Hello, Junmyeon. I’m Oh Sehun, the sole heir to Celltron Enterprises. I am an illegitimate child so you’d never see me in anything but I own it all. When my father died, I inherited everything and that is how I met your father as well, as he was my father’s assistant. I don’t like being popular and I wanted to live a normal life so no one ever knew about me except for the higher-ups of the company. My favorite colors are black and white. I love drinking bubble tea when I feel down and also when I feel happy. I like love eating sushi and samgyeopsal. I have a fear of riding elevators on my own. I love listening to good music. And most of all, I love you, Kim Junmyeon.”_

Junmyeon didn’t care about all of that, he just wanted his Sehun back. He wanted his love to be in his arms and not six feet under the ground.

 

_“I love you, Junmyeon. For the past five years, I have been watching you, trying to figure out a way to approach you, finding the courage to talk to you and ask you if I was really just a fling. I followed everything you did. I went to all of your exhibitions, I check all of your artwork. I was basically a stalker, wasn’t I? Want to know something? I am OSH.”_

OSH? Junmyeon is in shock as he hears it. How could he not have matched that up? OSH was his patron, the one who buys almost all of his most prized works. Of course, it had to be Sehun, didn’t it?

 

_Sehun chuckles a bit in front of the camera._

_“But can you blame me? And when I found out I had cancer and I was given an expiration date when they all told me I was going to die soon, I decided that I should at least try and say goodbye to you. That was all I wanted, to be able to tell you I love you for the last time before I leave this world. But you gave me so much more, Junmyeon. You gave me the world.”_

“I’d have given you everything you wanted, Sehun”

_“I’m sorry, Junmyeon. I’m sorry that I probably won’t be alive long enough to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you but believe me Junmyeon, I hope I did. I wish every night that I did. I wanted to be with you for as long as I possibly could. This was the best summer I had ever spent, and I can only wish it lasted longer.”_

_A beeping sound was heard._

_“I’m running out of minutes, now and you’re probably awake by now so I’ll swing by your place again. If by chance, I am no longer there beside you in the future, please find someone else to love you. I want you to live a happy life, with or without me. I left you with a gift, one that would hopefully make life much easier for you. You deserve the world Jun, and I’m sorry I can only do this. I love you, Junmyeon. You’re my----”_

And the video ended.

Junmyeon didn’t know what to do. Honestly, he was just really surprised and devastated at the same time. 

***************

 

_The thing about summer love is that it always ends too soon, and no one is ever ready to say goodbye. But what is even sadder is when you never got to say goodbye._

Junmyeon looks up at the night sky, standing near the beach, watching the waves hitting the shore. He used to go here every night with Sehun and even without him there, he can still feel his warmth in his heart.

He was not expecting Sehun’s gift to be so much. He basically gave him everything to make sure he’ll live the rest of his life without having to think about money. The amount he gave and the gallery that he has built for Junmyeon’s art was something he would forever be grateful for.

 

***** 10 years later *****

 

A shooting star streaked the vast night sky and Junmyeon made a silent wish on it.

 

Oh Sehun, his miracle, the love of his life, his shining star, his muse, his everything, now and forever.

 

 _“Sehun, I love you so much. I miss you.”,_ he whispers to the wind.

 

He smiles before he walks toward the ocean, leaving everything behind.

 

*****************

 

Junmyeon’s last piece was displayed on Oh Junmyeon Museum.

A painting of two men, by the beach, a wedding scene.

Hands intertwined.

Kissing each other.

And the summer sky was the witness to their love.

 

It was titled: _Ma Lumiere._

_My light._

 


End file.
